Joanna May of IHOP-KC has a blog post reflecting on times in the prayer room in KC when it was in a double wide trailer. She includes a link to a playable recording of Misty Edwards leading a Friday evening devotional set back in 2002. Here is the link, enjoy!
Durand Road
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Greetings;
We send our love and we pray that you are being filled with God’s Spirit day to day.
This may be one of the most unique letters I will ever write in my lifetime. It is a rather long update, but it is warranted due to unusual changes taking place for our family. It comes to you after hours of thoughtful reflection; but truly, in a real way, it is a love letter by a compassionate and merciful God written through our family’s journey of the last 20 years.
As a starting point for this communication, first note that we have now started the process of selling our house in the Charlotte area and are making arrangements to move to Newport News, Virginia. An open door is before us via the request for me to take on leadership in a prayer community. In the monastery where a gathering of Franciscans were once cloistered for over 40 years, an effort was commissioned by Hope Community Church in 2003 after acquiring the property from these Franciscans. The commission was to build the Livingstone monastery for sustained prayer and to provide a context for Christian hospitality. Steps were taken to begin recruiting and training Christians who would commit themselves to a community where worship and prayer would be the first emphasis in a corporate as well as personal way. A work order was established that served to provide meals and facilitate spiritual retreats on the property. And so began the Livingstone monastery at 28 Harpersville Road in Newport News, Virginia.
The back story to this “open door” to us is as follows. This past fall a leadership crisis surfaced that affected the Livingstone monastery and Hope Community Church. There was an appropriate stepping down from leadership as an expression of repentance for willful sin which violated the trust given to them to provide spiritual oversight and guidance to the community. The leading elders of Hope Community Church (HCC) stepped in to set a course to address the need for ongoing leadership over the monastery, to provide assurance to the community there would be ongoing discipleship and vision concerning the life and direction of Livingstone monastery.
In recent months one of the pastoral elders of HCC, a man named Chris Carter, initiated an on-again, off-again conversation with me to inquire as to the possibility of our moving to Newport News and working with him to build up the community as it pertains to God’s promises and God’s vision for the Livingstone monastery. Caryn visited there with me, giving us some context thereafter to both assess the spiritual climate of the place and continue to enquire of the Lord as to what His will would be for us concerning such a request. After Caryn and I met with them and continued to pray we became convinced that there is a sense of an invitation by the Holy Spirit to join Him in this work.
The Livingstone monastery, this ‘small band of Gideons’ (as I think of them) has been beset by many challenges, yet there is a core group who has persisted in believing that God will provide a means for a safe gathering place in the city that is accomplishing night and day prayer. Living in a culture that tends to overly emphasize big numbers as ‘success’, we believe to recognize perseverance among a few as also notable and exemplary.
We have accepted their request to move there and build up the work. I recently was with Chris at a meeting of HCC elders where they (the leading elders) accepted our proposal to begin a process to establish the Livingstone monastery as a separate legal entity apart from Hope Community Church: as a Christ-centered community given to hospitality with a primary emphasis on corporate worship and prayer. I will take on oversight of the community to further embrace the necessary values and vision of effectively becoming a missions base that is rooted in night and day prayer. I will be stepping in to work with the current leadership team there, both to strengthen the current aspects of the ministry which are right and good in the purposes of God as well as to provide vision and develop infrastructure for the new roads before them.
The Vision for Prayer
We believe the zeal and grace of God will be operating to further build a community that has an open prayer room in the monastery which will host God’s Spirit in a consistent engagement of worship and prayer. The primary emphases of our prayer will be: 1) for the ending of abortion, 2) for the protection and salvation of the nation of Israel, 3) the maturation of the Church in the Hampton Roads area, and 4) the advancement of the gospel with power throughout Virginia.
The Vision for Hospitality
We believe that we have been uniquely situated to provide a place for fellowship and for encounters with God that will strengthen faith and hope and love. To that end we will remain committed to provide a safe context for contemplation and conversation, a ministry which accommodates both feasting and fasting.
The Vision for the Missions Base
I believe as we strengthen and continue to build prayer, in due time direction and favor will come from God in regards to the evangelization of whole cities and parts of Virginia. As the Lord interacts with us in prayer we will be given tears and concern for the lost that is spiritually derived and not simply human compassion. Out of this will come breakthroughs for cities where I believe God will allow us to actively partner with leaders to reach every home with Jesus’ claims to forgive sin and show the reality of His Kingdom. It is a day to accomplish the same mandate the apostle Paul was given directly by Jesus Christ at Paul’s conversion: “I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Me,” (Acts 26:17b-18). The cause and effect of night and day prayer for evangelistic breakthrough is profoundly biblical, though stating that case is not the intent of this letter. We are at the beginning of an unparalleled stirring of God’s Spirit to release the saints in ministry. If you take away anything from this letter, note this most emphatically.
I further believe my taking on leadership in this capacity is congruent with the unfolding purposes God has set before me for the last 20 years. I am presuming to commend myself to you by referencing our history of God’s leading and the fruitfulness He has accomplished through us along the way despite great challenges in our circumstances.
Consider several points of our history with God in order to better state this:
* December, 1989 - the Lord began to tell me that the reaching of cities would need to be an emphasis for the Body of Christ in our day. It would become a high and consistent priority, first in prayer then in waves of outreach.
* Summer, 1992 - while in Youth With A Mission, God first spoke to us that night and day prayer would be in our future. It would be the way forward to the gospel being articulated with power.
* December, 1993 - unexpected favor is given to us as Caryn and I join Harvest Evangelism, which is Ed Silvoso’s ministry team out of San Jose, California.
* January, 1995 - an invitation is given and we (the Burnett family) move to Yuba City, California to work with a diverse group of Christian pastors to implement prayer evangelism (cf. Ed Silvoso’s book 'That None Should Perish') and reach Yuba City and Marysville entirely with the gospel. We experience limited success.
* Summer, 1998 - we move to Charlotte, North Carolina out of a conviction the Lord is leading us and that He will build prayer. We resign our position with Harvest Evangelism and wait for further leading.
* October 23, 2002 - At the prompting of the Lord, I start a weekly ‘harp and bowl’ prayer meeting at Resurrection Lutheran church in Charlotte with a clear sense of God’s saying to begin. The following spring, the Lord tells me if we continue for 3 years and do not despise the weakness of the prayer meetings, He will build 24 hour prayer in Charlotte.
* October 23, 2005 - it is announced at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City that Kirk and Dee Bennett (on the leadership team there) are being released to move to Fort Mill (ie. south side of Charlotte) to take on the building of night and day prayer. Upwards of 50+ end up moving with them and we join in to participate in the effort.
* January 2, 2006 through June 6, 2009 the Zadok House of Prayer (ZHOP) community runs a sustained worship and prayer meeting. Even as the Lord required 3 years of weakness (from our perspective of the pre-ZHOP effort) He gave over 3 years of strength as our ministry team kept the prayer room occupied around the clock. Despite being fully employed, I worked with Kirk at a leadership level to help him oversee ZHOP.
* April, 2009 - the Lord tells me I have begun the most significant transition of my life thus far.
* June, 2009 - Kirk Bennett announces that the Lord had indicated he was to move his family back to Kansas City. We (the Burnetts) take a posture of watchful prayer to learn what we are to pursue next.
* February, 2010 - the Lord tells me He is going to send people to me that I am to help.
My self-presentation here is not some boast in personal accomplishment, but a declaration to the reader of God’s consistent leadership as He brings change to His Church in our generation. I have elaborated on these details to this degree in order to bear witness to the consistency of God’s leading over these decades. And this in order that you might perceive the authenticity of how God has done what He has told us He would do, and grasp the veracity of what I am writing which is yet before us today.
To some, night and day prayer may seem like an extravagance. But, in truth, God’s governance of creation is accomplished through men preferring His will and His Kingdom via intentional requests for them, which is the definition of prayer. In a real way, God’s Kingdom is being manifest on earth as it is in heaven when His people gather night and day to declare His worthiness and worship Him ... to delight in His peerless excellence and beauty. Rather than being extravagant, these are the basic entry ways into man’s real partnership with Jesus Christ into His ministry once they are saved.
Having stated all this, I am looking for people to fund us as a family in order to best accomplish the responsibilities I am taking on at the Livingstone monastery and potentially in the state of Virginia. We will adjust accordingly should there be a need to acquire employment outside of the monastery, but it would inhibit to some degree the effectiveness of what we will be laboring to accomplish. I’m capable of employment ranging from automotive front end brake work to establishing referential integrity on a relational database. But to the degree that I can also devote myself to prayer and the ministry of the word, (cf. Acts 6:4) it will go better for this fledgling house of prayer we call LHOP (Livingstone House of Prayer) and it will accordingly go better in regards to pursuing spiritual breakthroughs for the gospel of Christ in the mid-Atlantic region of the United States. Money can be sent to:
Livingstone House of Prayer
Attn: Burnett family support
28 Harpersville Road
Newport News, VA 23601
Regardless of circumstances that we pass through, we will not be deterred. We will continue forward into our obedience, joyfully with the resources we have at our disposal.
Through these years I have not “broken rank” in terms of questioning whatever measure of influence or visibility He has indicated along the way. Some degree of the hiddenness and restraint He has laid upon me in recent years is now being lifted, thus we are making this appeal to those whom the Lord would have come along side us through the giving of their time in prayer for us and the offering of their money for the realization of the mission Jesus has laid before us. We are excited and shift forward with a sense of privilege to be a part of the things God is doing in Virginia.
For the Lamb, and His harvest.
Greg Burnett
“I'd rather teach one man to pray than ten men to preach.” C. Spurgeonpraying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints Ephesians 6:18INDIA — Assailants sever Christian's hand in India — VOM Contacts
On July 4, unknown assailants attacked a college professor, severing his right hand and part of his arm in Kerala, India. According to The Voice of the Martyrs contacts T.J. Joseph, a professor at Newman's College in Thodupuzha, was returning from a Sunday service at his church when a van pulled up beside him. The assailants forced him from his car and attacked him with knives and swords, amputating his lower arm and inflicting deep wounds to his body. At last report, doctors were attempting to save his limb. According to reports, several Muslim students were offended by test questions on an exam T.J. Joseph gave two months ago. After protests by Islamic groups, T.J. was suspended from his job and apologized for his “unintentional error.” Nevertheless, he continued to receive threats. T.J.’s assailants in the July 4 attack are suspected to be members of the Islamic militant group, the Popular Front of India, but the attack was condemned by other Islamic groups. The media in India reported that T.J. Joseph forgave his attackers. Praise God T.J. has forgiven his persecutors. Pray for his full and speedy recovery. Pray that the misunderstanding which led to the attack will be resolved. Pray for peace among India's religious communities.IRAQ — Christian killed in bomb attack — VOM Canada/ Asia News
On July 5, Behnam Sabti, a Christian, died instantly when a bomb exploded under his car in Mosul, Iraq. According to local reports, Behnam was killed because of his “religious identity.” In recent months, Christians and other religious minorities in Iraq have faced violence because of their beliefs. Pray for Behnam’s wife and three children as they mourn the loss of husband and father. Pray that those responsible for this attack will be found and brought to justice. Pray for peace in Iraq and that Christians will be able to live their faith in freedom. Pray Christians will forgive their persecutors.INDONESIA — Christians face death threat and increasing opposition — Compass Direct News
In recent months, Christians in Bekasi, Indonesia have faced growing opposition from Muslim extremists opposed to “Christianization,” according to Compass Direct News. Compass reported that on June 27, Muslim organizations in Bekasi announced they would establish “paramilitary units in local mosques” to oppose “ongoing attempts to convert people to Christianity.” Muslims have accused Christians of “aggressive proselytizing.” Church services throughout the city have been interrupted repeatedly and Christians have been threatened. In June, the Bekasi Islamic Congress met and set up a “mission center” along with a youth army to oppose Christian efforts. There is also a push for Shariah law in the region. Pray for protection for Christians in Bekasi. Pray the authorities will protect the Christians against opposition from militant Islamic groups.
Lots of reflection these days, looking towards Virginia and bringing fresh leadership to a 'small band of Gideons', (my description). No guarantees, other than God being good and His mercy enduring forever. The late John Wimber used to say, "Faith is spelled R-I-S-K". A friend was shown recently in a prophetic experience that our family's journey will be instructive to many. In that case, we've got through a LOT of faith steps that make for some great stories. Some rather costly, some breakthroughs, some disappointments (in regards to expectations). Yet there's the sobering reality that in the scripture Jeremiah was told ahead of time that the message God would give him would not be well received. I'm not invoking this to justify any degree of a martyr's complex - far from it. Just the needed reality check from one who has gone before us faithfully, and Jeremiah was faithful despite the lack of external success. God could grant us "success" and growth, or lead us into obscurity and the depths of a spiritual wilderness... there to grant us fruitfulness that can only be perceived in the age to come. Its the lack of grasping this that has hindered mature leadership from being appreciated in much of the Church in America. We want the sizzle and charisma, the polished and articulate. The pattern has been to throw money and loyalty to these types rather than otherwise. You may read the scriptures differently, but I see Moses as an example otherwise (at the time of his release and appointment into leadership late in his life at the burning bush) as profoundly broken and uncertain of himself. I don't think of him as being an obvious choice in terms of what we'd vote for in a national leader.
In reflecting upon Moses, it strikes me that God raised up a man who was foremost in love with Him. God drew near this man to exhibit someone thrust into responsibility over an entire nation and yet who was completely taken with knowing God. That was his greatest and most critical qualification in assuming such a visible and influential role over the Hebrews coming out of 400 years of captivity in Egypt. Reading the text, its clear that having the opportunity to "put his finger on the button" of decisions was more of a chore than a joy to Moses. But he responded with trust, and had to learn greater dependency upon God than he (Moses) had ever known before.
In reflecting upon Moses, it strikes me that God raised up a man who was foremost in love with Him. God drew near this man to exhibit someone thrust into responsibility over an entire nation and yet who was completely taken with knowing God. That was his greatest and most critical qualification in assuming such a visible and influential role over the Hebrews coming out of 400 years of captivity in Egypt. Reading the text, its clear that having the opportunity to "put his finger on the button" of decisions was more of a chore than a joy to Moses. But he responded with trust, and had to learn greater dependency upon God than he (Moses) had ever known before.
These are my thoughts, looking forward. I also have Warren Bennis' excellent definition of a leader that I think is outstanding:
one who manifests vision, integrity, and courage in a consistent pattern of behavior that inspires trust, motivation, and responsibility on the part of followers, who in turn become leaders themselves.
Lord, be near. In mercy daily overcome my deafness and blindness; empower me by Your Spirit to love You well in hiddenness as well as openness. Instruct my mind and form my heart to keep you in constant consideration all the hours and days of my life. I want to see You, Jesus. More than anything. More than anything. Command my heart to love You more, again and again. Hear this prayer for Your great Name's sake.
one who manifests vision, integrity, and courage in a consistent pattern of behavior that inspires trust, motivation, and responsibility on the part of followers, who in turn become leaders themselves.
Lord, be near. In mercy daily overcome my deafness and blindness; empower me by Your Spirit to love You well in hiddenness as well as openness. Instruct my mind and form my heart to keep you in constant consideration all the hours and days of my life. I want to see You, Jesus. More than anything. More than anything. Command my heart to love You more, again and again. Hear this prayer for Your great Name's sake.
Update on Virginia should be coming this week... its in order with broader concerns before I can elaborate any further than my time in Newport News last week was good. Relationships are forming and agreements are coming together.
Since its the 6th day of the month I was reading in Proverbs chapter 6 this morning. These verses in particular were the object of my reflection and prayer:
Since its the 6th day of the month I was reading in Proverbs chapter 6 this morning. These verses in particular were the object of my reflection and prayer:
16 There are six things the LORD hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
I perceive the promise of God in tangible ways for the journey ahead, according to Isaiah chapter 35:
1 The desert and the parched land will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
the splendor of our God. 3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
4 say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you."
5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
6 Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.
7 The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
8 And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness.
The unclean will not journey on it;
it will be for those who walk in that Way;
wicked fools will not go about on it.
9 No lion will be there,
nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
1 The desert and the parched land will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
the splendor of our God. 3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
4 say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you."
5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
6 Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.
7 The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.
8 And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness.
The unclean will not journey on it;
it will be for those who walk in that Way;
wicked fools will not go about on it.
9 No lion will be there,
nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
“Those who have left the deepest impression on this sin cursed earth have been men and women of prayer. You will find that prayer has been the mighty power that has moved not only God, but man.” D L Moodypraying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints Ephesians 6:18NIGERIA — Pastor’s Home Attacked — VOM Contacts
On May 19, Muslim youths destroyed two church buildings and a pastor’s house in Northern Nigeria, according to The Voice of the Martyrs contacts. “A Christian pastor received a phone call from one of the Evangelical Church of West Africa (ECWA) missionaries, Gambo Mato, serving in a village called Kwasam, … Kano state, saying, ‘Muslim youths are now destroying my house and our church buildings; they have set my house and the church ablaze,’” VOM contacts said. The Muslim youths burned and destroyed both the new and old churches as well as the pastor’s house. “They also attacked the Christians in the village with sticks, clubs, knives and bow and arrows, but the Christians, who are mostly natives of the place, … escaped with their lives, leaving few injured,” VOM contacts said. “Praise God no one was killed.” Believers in Nigeria think the Muslims attacked because locals are converting to Christianity and Muslims do not want churches in the area. This is the latest in the ongoing attacks against believers in Nigeria. The Voice of the Martyrs stands with persecuted Christians in Nigeria and encourages you to pray for believers in this area. Pray that in the face of their terrible suffering, God’s grace will be sufficient. Pray that God will change the hearts and minds of the Muslim youths involved in these attacks, and pray for lasting peace in Nigeria.INDONESIA — Believers Report Church Closing — VOM Contacts / kompas.com
On May 21, members of the Indonesia Christian Church (GKI) visited the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) to report that local officials had stopped construction of the GKI’s building in Bogor City, Indonesia, and sealed the building, according to the Indonesian news site kompas.com and The Voice of the Martyrs contacts. Church members told the NHRC that local government officials had banned their Christian activities, sealed their building and revoked their building license in February 2008. The Christians met with Johny Nelson Simanjuntak, the Investigation and Observation Commissioner of the National Human Rights Commission. “There is an effort of hindering and forbidding people to do their religious activities and building their building of prayer,” Simanjuntak told kompas.com and members of the press following the meeting. “All the building procedures were already fulfilled by the church. They had received the license from the local government, and they applied the license based on the right procedures,” Simanjuntak said. He added that the NHRC had followed up with local officials but had not yet received a reply. Pray for a speedy resolution of this issue. Pray that believers will remain faithful and committed to Christ during this challenging time.MOROCCO — Harassment and Deportation of Christians Continues — Compass Direct News
Moroccan officials have expelled more than 100 Christians in recent months. According to Moroccan law, foreigners who have lived in the country for more than 10 years cannot be deported unless they are accused of a crime. They also have the right to appeal the deportation order within 48 hours. However, Christians deported in recent months have been given only a few hours’ notice before being escorted to the country’s exit ports. Very few believers have been able to appeal their deportation order. Moroccan officials cite “proselytism” as the reason for the deportations. Pray for the deported believers and their families, and pray that God will encourage and protect all believers in Morocco.
In the meantime, here's the beautiful song 'Twenty-four' by Jon Foreman:
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures and
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit I was wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
But see, I'm not copping out, not copping out, not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me, yeah
I want to see miracles, to see the world change
I wrestled the angel for more than a name,
For more than a feeling,
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man down
Oh, oh I am the second man down
And you're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising these twenty-four oceans
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures and
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit I was wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
But see, I'm not copping out, not copping out, not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me, yeah
I want to see miracles, to see the world change
I wrestled the angel for more than a name,
For more than a feeling,
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man down
Oh, oh I am the second man down
And you're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising these twenty-four oceans
Image by Ðeni via FlickrDo not let the son of the foreigner
Who has joined himself to the LORD
Speak, saying,
“ The LORD has utterly separated me from His people”;
Nor let the eunuch say,
“ Here I am, a dry tree.” - Isaiah, chapter 56, verse 3
For God, the Lofty One who surveys every aspect of His creation, says:
“Even them I will bring to My holy mountain,
And make them joyful in My house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices
Will be accepted on My altar;
For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.” - Isaiah, chapter 56, verse 7
How to Communicate Effectively
Developing good communication skills is an important part of living a fulfilled life. Effectively communicating your career, personal, and everyday needs in a way that comes across clearly, persuasively, and thoughtfully is crucial; and yet, not everyone knows how. It isn't innate, and many bright, talented, and dedicated people don't get where they should, all because they fail to adequately communicate their point.
Don't let that be your fate. No matter what your age, background, or experience, effective communication is a skill you can learn (no matter how you might feel about it now). With a little self-confidence and knowledge of the basics of good communications, you will be able to effectively communicate your message in both conversations and presentations, in all walks of life.
Steps
- Understand the importance of communicating effectively. It is easy to take communicating for granted because it is a daily activity; and yet, just how much thought have you given to the way in which you communicate? Are you aware that:
- The average worker spends 50 percent of his or her time communicating?
- Business success is 85 percent dependent on effective communication and interpersonal skills?
- Forty-five percent of time spent communicating is listening?
- Writing represents nine percent of communication time?
- One-fourth of all workplace mistakes are the result of poor communication?
- A remarkable 75 percent of communication is nonverbal?[1]
- The average worker spends 50 percent of his or her time communicating?
- Be articulate. It is important to speak clearly, so that the message comes across in a way that every listener can understand. Articulate talk is talk that gets remembered because people instantly understand what it is that you are saying. It means uttering your words distinctly, preferring simpler words over more complex ones, and speaking at a level guaranteed to be heard but without coming across as too loud, overly excited, or disengaged.
- Avoid mumbling. Sound out the words clearly and openly, with the intent to have them heard without error. If mumbling is a defensive habit that you have fallen into out of fear of communicating, practice your message at home in front of the mirror. Discuss what you want to communicate with those you feel comfortable around first, to better develop the message in your own mind. Both the practice and the development of your words for the messaging will build your confidence.
- Avoid mumbling. Sound out the words clearly and openly, with the intent to have them heard without error. If mumbling is a defensive habit that you have fallen into out of fear of communicating, practice your message at home in front of the mirror. Discuss what you want to communicate with those you feel comfortable around first, to better develop the message in your own mind. Both the practice and the development of your words for the messaging will build your confidence.
- Listen actively. Communication is a two-way street and requires you to listen as well as talk. Remember that while you are talking, you are not learning. In listening, you will be able to gauge how much of your message is getting through to your listeners and whether or not it is being received correctly or is being misinterpreted. It can be helpful to ask listeners to rephrase some of what you have said in their own words if they appear to be returning confused or mistaken views to you.
- Be vocally interesting. A monotone is not pleasing to the ear. A good communicator will use "vocal color" to enhance the communication. Norma Michael recommends raising the pitch and volume of your voice when you transition from one topic or point to another, and to increase your volume and slow down your voice whenever you are raising a special point or summing up.[2] She also recommends speaking briskly but pausing to emphasize keywords when you are requesting action.
- Be clear from the outset as to the purpose of what you wish to convey. For example, your purpose could be to inform others, to obtain information, or to initiate action. You need to know in advance what you expect from your communication.
- Organize and clarify ideas in your mind before you attempt to communicate them. If you are feeling passionate about a topic, you may become garbled if you haven't already thought of some key points to stick to when communicating it. A good rule of thumb is to choose three main points and keep your communication focused on those. That way, if the topic wanders off course, you will be able to return to one or more of these three key points without feeling flustered.
- Think about setting the listener at ease before launching into your conversation or presentation. It can help sometimes to begin with a favorite anecdote. Not only does it help the listener identify with you as someone like them, it can also help ease you into the conversation or presentation.
- Think about setting the listener at ease before launching into your conversation or presentation. It can help sometimes to begin with a favorite anecdote. Not only does it help the listener identify with you as someone like them, it can also help ease you into the conversation or presentation.
- Stay on topic. Once you start addressing your three main points, make sure all facts, stories, allusions, etc., add to the conversation or debate. If you have already thought through the issues and the essence of the ideas that you wish to put across, it is likely that some pertinent phrases will stick in your mind. Do not be afraid to use these to underline your points. Even very confident and well-known speakers re-use their key lines again and again for major effect.
- Look on the Internet for examples of great speakers in action. There are plenty of role models instantly accessible through videos online. Treat them as your "personal communications coaches"![3]
- Look on the Internet for examples of great speakers in action. There are plenty of role models instantly accessible through videos online. Treat them as your "personal communications coaches"![3]
- Recognize people. Sure, you don't necessarily know the people in your audience or that new friend in your group, but they're nodding along with you and looking knowingly at you all the same. This means that they are connecting with you. So reward them with your acknowledgment. Nicholas Boothman recommends letting your mouth open slightly in a smile as your eyebrows arch, while tilting back your head just a little "in anticipation", being as subtle as possible.[4] He suggests practicing this in front of the mirror.
Whatever we'd rather believe, people do judge by appearances. In terms of communicating effectively, this reality means that your body language matters as much as your speech.
- Use facial expressions consciously. Aim to reflect passion and generate empathy with the listener by using soft, gentle, and aware facial expressions. Avoid negative facial expressions, such as frowns or raised eyebrows. What is or isn't negative is dependent on the context, including cultural context, so be guided by your situation. Be alert for unexpected behavior that suggests you're cross-culturally colliding, such as a clenched fist, a slouched posture, or even silence.[5] If you don't know the culture, ask questions about communication challenges before you start to speak with people in their cultural context.
- Communicate eye to eye. Eye contact establishes rapport, helps to convince that you're trustworthy, and displays interest. During a conversation or presentation, it is important to look into the other person's eyes if possible and maintain contact for a reasonable amount of time (but don't overdo it; just as much as feels natural, about 2-4 seconds at a time).[6]
- Remember to take in all of your audience. If you're addressing a boardroom, look every member of the board in the eye. Neglecting any single person can easily be taken as a sign of offense and could lose you business, admission, success, or whatever it is you are endeavoring to achieve.
- If you're addressing an audience, pause and make eye contact with a member of audience for up to 2 seconds before breaking away and resuming your talk. This helps to make individual members of the audience feel personally valued.
- Be aware that eye contact is culturally ordained. In some cultures it is considered to be unsettling, or inappropriate. Ask or research in advance.
- Remember to take in all of your audience. If you're addressing a boardroom, look every member of the board in the eye. Neglecting any single person can easily be taken as a sign of offense and could lose you business, admission, success, or whatever it is you are endeavoring to achieve.
- Use breathing and pauses to your advantage. There is power in pausing. Siimon Reynolds says that pausing causes an audience to lean in and listen, their interest piqued; it helps you to emphasize your points, allowing the listener time to digest what has been said; it helps to make your communication come across as more compelling, and it makes your speech easier to listen to.[7] To help improve your ability to make the most of pauses:
- Take deep breaths to steady yourself before you begin communicating.
- Get into the habit of solid, regular breathing during a conversation that will help you to keep a steady, calm voice. It will also keep you more relaxed.
- Use pauses to take a breather in what you are saying.
- Take deep breaths to steady yourself before you begin communicating.
- Use hand gestures carefully. Be conscious of what your hands are saying as you speak: Hand gestures can be divided into open gestures (positive responses) or closed/concealed gestures (negative responses).[8] Some hand gestures can be very effective in highlighting your points (open gestures), while others can be distracting or even offensive to some listeners, and can lead to the conversation or listening being closed down (closed gestures). Pay careful attention to the gestures as you make them; it also helps to watch other people's hand gestures to see how they come across to you.
- Keep a check on other body language signals. Watch for wandering eyes, hands picking at fluff on your clothing, and constant sniffling. These small gestures add up and are all guaranteed to dampen the effectiveness of your message, and will result in your ceasing to engage your listeners.
- Choose the right time. As the cliché states, there is a time and a place for everything, and communicating is no different. Avoid leaving discussions about heavy topics such as finances or weekly planning until 10 pm at night, for example. That's going-to-bed time and few people will be thrilled to be faced with sorting out major issues when they're at their most tired. Instead, leave heavy topics for mornings and afternoon times, when people are alert, available, and more likely to be able to hear what is said and to respond with clarity.
- Choose the right place. If you need to tell someone something that isn't going to be well received (such as news of a death, a breakup, a job loss, a change of plans, or a criticism of their efforts), don't do it in public, around colleagues, or near other people. Be respectful and mindful of the person receiving the communication, and communicate to them in a private place. This will also enable you to provide space to open dialog with them about the communication, and helps to ensure that the two-way process is occurring properly. If you're trying to give bad news in a cafe surrounded by loud chatting and reverberating sounds, the surroundings will affect the impact, and you will find it hard to know if your message has been understood. By the same token, if you are presenting to a group of people, be sure to check the acoustics beforehand, to practice projecting your voice clearly, and to use a microphone if needed to ensure that your audience can hear you.
- Remove distractions. Turn off the cell phone, put away the iPod, tie your dog to a post. Do not allow external distractions to act as crutches that keep sidetracking your concentration. They will distract both you and your listener and they will also effectively kill the communication. Even if the communication that you are having is a difficult one, it will not help the effectiveness of your message if you are seeking comfort or respite through such distractions.
- Thank the person or group for the time taken to listen and respond. No matter what the outcome of your communication, even if the response to your talk or discussion has been negative, it is good manners to end it politely and with respect for everyone's input and time.
Video
Rebekah Fensome's top tips for communicating effectively in situations where we find it difficult to communicate.
Tips
- If you are giving a presentation to a group or audience, be prepared for difficult questions so that you're not thrown off course and left feeling flustered. To remain in a position of communicating effectively, Michael Brown recommends a golden rule for handling difficult questions in the context of a group or audience. He suggests that you listen on behalf of everyone present, including asking questions and repeating the issue; that you share the reply with everyone, which means moving your eyes off the questioner and onto all present in order to have the whole group "wear the answer"; and to capitalize on this shared answer to move on and change direction.[9]
Warnings
- To talk without purpose is to ramble. If you want to be taken lightly, ramble.
- Do not whine or plead. Neither is guaranteed to instill respect or interest in the listener. If you are very upset, excuse yourself and come back to the discussion later when you have had a chance to think it through.
- Be careful with levity. While a little humor injected into what you are discussing can be very effective, do not take it too far, and do not rely on it as a crutch to cover up the hard-to-say things. If you keep giggling and joking, your communication will not be taken seriously.
Related wikiHows
- How to Be a Good Listener
- How to Communicate With a Non Native English Speaker
- How to Communicate With Younger People
- How to Communicate With a Mentally Challenged Person
- How to Communicate in an Assertive Manner
- How to Speak Clearly
- How to Handle People Who Are Angry at You
- How to Show Empathy
Sources and Citations
- Some elements of this article were sourced from FEMA, Effective Communication: An Independent Study, December 2005, at PDF document - downloads on clicking, a US government copyright free information source.
- Center for Nonverbal Studies, (http://center-for-nonverbal-studies.org/ CN), is an organization dedicated to the study of all forms of non-spoken communication; here you'll find a thorough explanation of the various forms of non-verbal communication.
- ↑ FEMA, Effective Communication: An Independent Study, December 2005, at page 13 (1.4), PDF download on clicking
- ↑ Norma Michael, How to Say What You Mean, (1988), p.33, ISBN 0-474-00303-5
- ↑ An inspiring place to find some of the world's top speakers is TED, which has a repository of many free talks.
- ↑ Nicholas Boothman, How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less, (2000), p. 53, ISBN 0-9578081-8-6
- ↑ Don W Prince and Michael H Hoppe, Listen and Watch for Cultural Differences, in Communicating Across Cultures, (2000), pp.14-19
- ↑ Linda Talley, Body Talk, Career World, a Weekly Reader publication 38.6, (April-May 2010), p.6
- ↑ Siimon Reynolds, Why People Fail; The 16 obstacles to success and how you can overcome them, (2010), p. 94, ISBN 978-0-670-07431-0
- ↑ Nicholas Boothman, How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less, (2000), p. 52, ISBN 0-9578081-8-6
- ↑ Michael Brown, Speaking Easy, (undated), Media Associates, NZ, p.114.
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Communicate Effectively. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
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